Dogs lie around all day on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but they don't hear you when you are in the same room.
When you want to play, they want to play.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They leave their toys everywhere.
They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
-- Groucho Marx

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
-- Christopher Morley

"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
-- Mark Twain

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-- Ben Williams

My advice to any diplomat who wants to have good press is to have two or three kids and a dog.~ Carl Rowan

To his dog a man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
--Aldous Huxley 1894 English Novelist.

Man is a dogs ideal of what God should be.
--Holbrook Jackson 1874 English Journalist.

Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.
--Alexander Pope 1688-1744 English Poet.
Q: What do you do if your dog eats your pen?
A: Use a pencil instead!

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. ~ Mark Twain

There are three faithful friends--an old wife, an old dog and ready money. ~ Ben Franklin.

Q: Why is it called a "litter" of puppies?
A: Because they mess up the whole house!

Two dogs sniff over to a parking meter. One of them woofs to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets!"