For the next 2 months Sol continued to be my  trusting friend & I tried to be worthy of her trust.  To provide for her needs.  To interpret her communication.

I limited her activity .. & fed her way to many doggie treats / biscuits & table scraps.. & gave her lots of hugs & "good girl"s.

Over the next 2 months / 3months after diagnosis .. her condition has steadily deteriorated.   I must assist her into "HER pickup truck" .. she is so happy in the passenger seat.  My pickup has 95,000 miles on it & Sol has been my co-pilot for 93,000 of those miles.  My friend Kenny gets into the back without asking .. he knows the front passenger seat is Sol's.

3 months: The breast cancer lump is now 'banana shaped' ..  1" in diameter & 3" long & hard, very different from the surrounding tissue. .. it is relatively hard, oblong & to the inside side of the breast .. has really distorted her underside / breast,

Sol seems to be comforted when I gently hold the tumor / lump. 

I think Sol is as aware of my commitment to her as I am aware of her devotion to me.

I continue to provide her with my care & love .. she continues to be my friend. 

As she has become more & more debilitated our relationship has grown even closer.

The vet reports that the cancer has apparently spread to her digestive track & air way.  Extreme bowel problems and serious coughing / loud throat clearing.

She is more and more selective about what she will eat .. her stools are runny & often have bloody mucous.

At 4 months the tumor is 2" in diameter & 4" in length .. Sol has stopped eating anything but "puppy biscuits" & is refusing her pain medications.  She is very careful about how she positions her self .. the tumor is obviously directly effecting all aspects her day to day life.

She continues to be my devoted friend.

Sol's End .. the last 4 days ..

Saturday Sol's demeanor / behavior drastically changed. 

Over the next 2 days it seemed everything changed: eating, breathing, awake positioning, sleep position, ear position, eye contact, tongue action

She could no longer sit on 'her chair' in the TV room .. she'd jump up, then quickly jump down.

It was obvious her condition was becoming intolerable to her.

Sol began to ignore her food bowl on Saturday .. she would eat puppy biscuits if I held them for her ..

She began holding her head in an unusual nose up position, her breathing appeared labored & she 'grunted' with each exhale.  Her coughing, a throat clearing cough more than lung cough, had became more frequent & more intense.

At night she now positioned herself in what I determined was a non-relaxed head up / nose up position .. I had never seen her position herself  like that before .. when ever I checked on her during the night she was in the nose extended position.

Monday afternoon her 2 pit bull friends from the next street over stopped by .. I opened the gate & let Sol out .. her friends sniffed her a bit & quickly went off .. Sol did not attempt to follow .. very unusual .. could her friends tell?  Just 1 week before there was play between the 3, but there was no play that evening.

Monday night 3 AM she asked to be let out, I watched for a while as she awkwardly attempted a "bowel movement stance" on her weak rear legs .. I returned to bed & left the door open .. she came to the bedroom doorway & quietly stood there..  I called for her .. she came to my bed, got onto the bed from a different angle than usual & crawled up onto my body ..

Sol had never 'crawled' up on to my body in the bed before.. she really wanted my focused attention.

Tuesday morning she was exhibiting more unusual behavior .. she was demonstrating distress through body positioning & panting breathing noises, she continued to refuse food (unseasoned grilled hamburger).  It was now 3 days since she had eaten a full meal .. 

& she was refusing the pain medications.  I elected to not confront her & force the pain meds into her mouth.

I called the Veterinary Clinic & scheduled a 4:15 appointment .. all my senses told me it was time.

Tuesday afternoon.  3 PM .. I sat on 'her futon' with her for a while .. I tearfully begged her to accept the pain meds .. when she refused with clinched jaw I accepted her decision to not take the pain medications..  I did not want any confrontation with her .. not today.

She passively enjoyed the drive to the Vet .. semi reclined with her nose out the window. 

I considered not stopping at the vet..

Sol's doctor came to my truck did an examination & evaluation .. he knew Sol for 13 years & agreed, she was experiencing major distress / exhibiting distress = pain from the cancer?  He stated there was no treatment to improve her condition.

Sol was euthanasized in her beloved passenger seat.

I rubbed her ear as we drove back to the house ..

I had already dug her grave & had a fruit tree to plant .. yellow (Rainier) cherries for the yellow lab..

I will move a section of the the fence so her grave is outside the fence .. where her friends can visit her & leave pee mail for her on her tree ..

Sol loved other dogs & tolerated people.

I hope the tree bears good fruit & people come to the tree often over the years.

RIP Sol!  I love you girl!

It's been a week, I now frequently spend time sitting close to her .. next to her grave

I teared up in Walmart when I realized I no longer needed to shop on the Pet aisles .. I teared up as I neared my truck in the Safeway parking lot when I realized Sol was not waiting for me .. I tear up every time I enter my ever so empty house ..

I am teared up as I type..